NEWSWIRE

Islamabad, Pakistan. Barack Obama didn’t say “sorry” when NATO forces killed soldiers and citizens in Pakistan earlier, but the US President has apologized profusely after at least 72 anti-India terrorists were killed in the latest NATO operation, which security experts have termed as a massive blow to Pakistan’s strategic resources in the region.

“It was none of NATO’s business to bomb people and establishments that don’t pose direct threat to the American interests in the region,” a statement by White House condemned the attack in unequivocal terms, “We realize the emotional and strategic loss inflicted on Pakistan due to this reckless act, and we will do our best to help our friends come out of this trauma.”

Anti-US protests in Pakistan

Spontaneous protests against US started in many parts of Pakistan as soon as the news about NATO strike spread

According to the latest reports, at least 72 terrorists were killed on the spot as a missile blew up an anti-India terror camp, which was mistaken as a Taliban hideout by the NATO forces. At least 119 other terrorists were injured, 27 of them critically, when the NATO missile hit them while they were happily playing kasab-kasab in the morning – a game where terrorists assemble as unsuspecting citizens and one of them starts firing rubber bullets on them.

“We were having fun when suddenly this big boom happened,” Ajmal, a surviving terrorist recalled the tragic events, “Before we could understand anything, half of us were dead. I hope they have gone to the heaven. But the worst part is that those who survived, like me, have neither gone to heaven nor to the Indian prisons, where we could have at least got some security and biryani.”

Among those dead, there were many talented terrorists who were specialized in conducting suicide bombing, mass murders, bomb manufacturing, business development, and marketing for new-terrorist recruitment initiatives.

Initially NATO dismissed these bombings as “collateral damage” in its War Against Terror, but when it was later pointed out that these terrorists were in fact only anti-India and were allocated terrorist activities solely in the South-East Asian region, NATO and White House quickly issued a formal apology to the Pakistan government.

However, the apology has failed to soothe the already flaring tempers in Pakistan over NATO attacks. A flash mob had gathered outside the US embassy in Islamabad and was screaming misspelled English, Urdu, and Punjabi abuses when reports last came in.

Even the President of Pakistan and the Army chief have issued statements where they have warned that “mere an apology” will not do. Though they have not clarified what else will do.

“Another round of US aid money would be needed to recreate the lost resources,” a strategic expert estimated.

(based on this exclusive scoop by correspondent Pagla Ghoda)

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  • Rooparam Choudhary

    “Another round of US aid money would be needed to recreate the lost resources,” a strategic expert estimated. —– hahaha

    Porkistan has only one foreign policy — always remain “pissed off” with india.

  • observer

    great, “72″ was indeed exceptionally important strategic figure , 119 was ok but what is “27″ unless reflection of “72″ , does any strategic texts/guids/manuals have some provision/place for “27″?

    • yogi

      It is the number provided for child abusers in heaven

  • Abhi

    “A flash mob had gathered outside the US embassy in Islamabad and was screaming misspelled English, Urdu, and Punjabi abuses when reports last came in.” — good one

  • r3vz

    kasab kasab – bwahhahhaha

  • Kapil Pesay

    Among those dead, there were many talented terrorists who were specialized in conducting suicide bombing, mass murders, bomb manufacturing, business development, and marketing for new-terrorist recruitment initiatives…..the best paragraph :-)

  • the idiot kapil

    kasab – kasab – hhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Paro

    “…there were many talented terrorists who were specialized in conducting suicide bombing, mass murders, bomb manufacturing, business development, and marketing for new-terrorist recruitment initiatives” :D :D
    Awesome Post..!! :D :D

  • Rajat

    flash mob outside us embassy hahaha!!

  • The Red Baron

    Ha ha Ha Pagla Ghoda Our COrrespondent.. . . Awesome, vague yet truthful