Lucknow. Taking a cue from Rajya Sabha, which suspended proceedings abruptly as soon as the clock struck 12 in the midnight, a dalit family hosting Rahul Gandhi for dinner asked the Congress MP to leave their house as soon as they realized that it was end of the calendar day.
Rahul Gandhi had eaten just one roti (bread) when Dhaniram, the host, asked him to leave his house as the day reserved for showing hospitality to Rahul Gandhi had come to an end.
“We were having a nice chat and Rahul Baba was showing Dhaniram live television on his 3G enabled Aakash tablet gifted to him by Kapil Sibal,” a Congress worker, who had accompanied Rahul Gandhi, recalled the events of the last night.
Dhaniram asked Rahul Gandhi to show him news channels to check if his name and face was already on national television for hosting the future Prime Minister of India. Rahul obliged, but to his disappointment, Dhaniram found all the news channels broadcasting Parliament proceedings instead of breaking news on Rahul Gandhi having dinner at a dalit household.
“Rahul Baba explained something about Lokpal, but my mood was already off by then,” Dhaniram confided his honest feelings to Faking News, “I had paid a bribe of 500 rupees to the local agent who had promised that I will be popular after Rahul Gandhi visited my home. But there was not a single journalist covering the event! Only you Faking News guys were there! WTF!”
Adding to his woes was the half-an-hour explanation by Rahul Gandhi on how the Sarkari Lokpal can tackle corruption better than Jan Lokpal.
“To hell with all kind of Lokpals, I was more concerned about my 500 rupees and the food that I had invested to earn some fame,” Dhaniram said.
Already frustrated and exasperated at his loss, Dhaniram went mad when Rajya Sabha was adjourned sine die as soon as it was midnight. This killed all hopes of any non-Lokpal news being flashed.
“All that they were talking on TV was how the day had ended and no business could take place any further, while the disastrous day that I was having appeared to extend forever,” Dhaniram recalled how his wife started quarrelling with him as she had to cook food for five extra persons – Rahul Gandhi, his security guards, and the agent who fleeced Dhaniram.
However, the Parliament proceedings gave Dhaniram an idea on how to put an end to his sufferings. He immediately announced that the day had ended and the honorable Rahul Gandhi must leave his house keeping with the lofty traditions of the Indian parliament.
This left everyone stunned, as if Tendulkar was bowled at 99.
After regaining their composure, Congress workers tried to reason with Dhaniram but he remained adamant. The red faced agent even offered to fix a Walk The Talk appointment with Shekhar Gupta on NDTV, but Dhaniram was not ready to believe anyone anymore. Rahul Gandhi had to leave his house after having just one roti and a small bite off a pyaaz (onion).
“RSS agent,” Digvijay Singh claimed about Dhaniram.