Mumbai. After some groups expressed concerns over the likely sleazy content in the upcoming movie The Dirty Picture, which is based on the life of soft porn actress Silk Smitha, Censor Board met early today to remove all potentially obscene scenes and release a “cleaner” version of the movie. However, the producers of the movie were shocked to receive the culled prints without the appearance of Emraan Hashmi, except for a minute or two after the interval and a 13 second flashback near the end.
“We were relieved to see that none of the scenes, where Vidya had a loud sexual body language, were removed. We were about to celebrate when a spotboy pointed out that Emraan Hashmi was missing from the movie,” Ekta Kapoor, producer of the movie said, “And then we watched the movie again, and he was right! There was no Emraan! Censor had removed those scenes or blurred his face!”
The censor seemed to have used some software that identified the parts of the movie where Emraan appeared and chopped them off. It modified his face if Vidya Balan too was in the same frame.
Initially the producers thought to keep quiet as nobody might notice the absence of Emraan Hashmi till Vidya Balan showed her cleavage and flashed her belly flab, but lawyers argued that Emraan might ask for a compensation for this “insult”.
“There was a risk of him teaming up with his uncle Mahesh Bhatt and accusing us of communal agenda,” senior member of the production team told Faking News on conditions of anonymity, “We don’t want to get into any such shit as we are here to do business, nothing else.”
As a result, the producers have appealed to the board to reconsider their decision to remove Emraan Hashmi from the movie.
“What! We are obliged to play a responsible role,” explained Leela Samson, chairman of the board, “We had invited members of the civil society and all of them found Emraan much more vulgar, cheap, and obscene than Vidya Balan. Parents didn’t want their kids to grow up and be like Emraan. In fact, they were perfectly fine if their kids grew up to be like Tusshar Kapoor!”
Censor Board sources say that initially the board members favored removing Tusshar Kapoor scenes too from the film, as they feared that it could incite some viewers’ psyche and might push them to indulge in acts of vandalism or violence.
“Tusshar getting to kiss Vidya could have infuriated many male viewers,” a board member explained the rationale, “However we decided to remove Emraan as our mandate is clean and sensible cinema, not law and order.”
Naseeruddin Shah, the only actor that was deemed non-controversial by the board, refused to comment on the censor’s move. However he just pointed out that now, with Emraan out of the movie, the whole onus would be on Vidya to allure the youth. Naseer also added that while on the sets he had warned Emraan to change ‘that look’ in his eyes but he didn’t listen.
Censor Board was not willing to budge from its stand till reports last came in, so it remains a mystery what viewers will get to see when the movie releases tomorrow. The movie has already been banned in Pakistan.