New Delhi. After the government successfully concluded that every Indian was corrupt, especially those associated with the Anna Hazare’s anti-corruption movement, a new bill is being proposed that will make it mandatory for each family to have its own Lokpal. The new Lokpals will first cleanse Indian population of corruption, putting them on a higher moral ground than the politicians, which will then legitimize their fight against corruption.

“Those living in glass houses shouldn’t throw stone at others,” Congress spokesman Abhishek Manu Singhvi criticized the aam aadmi, who was either corrupt or a beneficiary of corruption by his family members.

Ham Sab Chor Hain - a 1956 movie

Government has produced such documents to back their findings that most of the Indians were corrupt right since the days of Jawahar Lal Nehru

Buoyed by this finding of an estimated 80% of Indians absolutely corrupt, government has decided to bring a new bill that will appoint one Lokpal for every Indian family of at least four members. These Lokpals will punish the aam aadmi for their corrupt practices by humiliating them in public and imposing occasional fines.

Earlier a Janta Lokpal Bill was proposed by some civil society groups to put the aam aadmi on a higher moral ground, but as always the government came up with their own version of the bill proposing one Lokpal for every family.

“A young man claiming to be honest would be reminded how he benefited from the corruption of his absolutely corrupt father who worked as a PWD engineer and got him educated in the top institutes,” Mr. Singhvi explained the functions and duties of the Lokpals.

Once every aam aadmi becomes honest and attains the moral authority for speaking out against corruption, the central government will then initiate proceedings to have a Lokpal that will check corruption in the establishment.

“The issue is not what should be done to check corruption, but who should be doing something to check corruption,” Hariram, a legal expert explained the thought process behind the new proposed bill and the general mood around the anti-corruption movement in India.

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11 Responses to “Since all of us are corrupt, every family will get one Lokpal”

  1. “The issue is not what should be done to check corruption, but who should be doing something to check corruption,” – Nailed it! This is the unfortunate level where the narrative has gone now.

    • exactly! What is the guv and their chamcha Indian Express trying to prove by showing that Kiran Bedi, Bhushan, and Kejriwal also have done something wrong (even if just of a few thousands rupees), shouldn’t the debate be whether Lokpal is good or bad or whether these people are good and bad!?

      • I hope you don’t think for a moment that the discourse derailed on its own. Hundreds of crores of ill-gotten rupees have been invested to derail the discourse. What I find amazing is that there exist people who think that the Congress party can be brought down via constitutional means. They wrote the constitution, bubba. There can now be no reform without bloodshed. There will inevitably be blood, but reform is iffy.

  2. No digvijay singh in this post 🙁

  3. seemantini November 1, 2011

    Isn’t it a bit loaded?

  4. Finally a non-Diggy Raja, non-Mayawati/ SRK/ Rahul Gandhi article.. seriously FN, I feel you people are restricting yourselves these days to just political satire.. Looking forward seeing other genres of satire as well…


  5. CONgress guv has ready plans to humiliate and embarrass everyone who speaks out against corruption

  6. Rajiv Kumar November 1, 2011

    u r absolutely right PP when u said this…” The issue is not what should be done to check corruption, but who should be doing something to check corruption..”
    unfortunately the focus by the government these days is to discredit Anna Hazare team rather than trying to do something on corruption..

  7. I AM Digvijay November 3, 2011

    I have Proof that FN and PP are run by RSS , 😛