Mumbai. In a landmark judgment, a Mumbai family court has granted divorce to a man, who wanted to separate from his wife on the grounds that she didn’t nag him even once during their married tenure of ten years.
Justifying his move, the freshly divorced man, Chetan Bhagat (not to be confused with the bestselling author) spoke to this reporter outside the family court:
“I don’t mind telling you that the past ten years were living hell for me. Imagine, when I have to party out with friends, I don’t have to tell her any creative story about my coming late in the night, drunk. No matter how late I reach home, in whatever condition, she will serve me hot food and ask me how my day was. The next day, when all friends are discussing how they got away last night, I have nothing to contribute and I always felt like a total jerk!”
When asked by this reporter if wasn’t this what every man wanted in his life, Mr. Bhagat strongly contested the idea.
“That is pure humbug. Just like communism, the idea sounds very good theoretically, but practically it is a stupid idea,” he argued, “A marriage without a nagging wife sounds very good, but is not practically possible. I agree that there shouldn’t be an overdose; however, what kind of a woman will not nag her husband even once in ten years?”
When asked if he took any remedial action to prevent the divorce, Mr. Bhagat claimed that he tried everything possible to make it work.
“I regularly gave her hints that she should object to my actions once in a while. She should scold me if I put wet towels on the bed, kept the toilet seat up, fart in bed, or even when I scratch my balls in public, but never once did she object to all these actions,” he rued.
“In fact, I started interacting with my friends more whose wives were notorious nags, so that she can pick up some tricks, but no avail. The last straw was when I told her I was going to Bangkok for a week’s vacation with my buddies; she slipped a packet of edible flavored condoms in my shaving kit.”
Behavior Scientist Jairam Iyer, when asked to give his opinion on this issue, was quite intrigued:
“I think such behavior is quite rare in a woman, however a scientist in Denmark has identified a gene in women that prevents her from nagging, however, he has not made it public as he fears that he could be accused of playing with god’s creation. This could become more controversial than human cloning.”
Faking News tried to contact Mrs. Bhagat, but she was unavailable to comment. However her mother revealed that in the last 6 hours, she has received more than 300 marriage proposals, most of them from Gujarati and Marwari businessmen.