NEWSWIRE

Bengaluru. Chairman of Kingfisher Airlines, Vijay Mallya has announced an “austerity drive” for his family and the whole group after Fly Kingfisher had to cancel various flights due to liquidity crunch. The drive, clearly inspired from a similar drive undertaken by the UPA government a couple of years back, will go live next week and is aimed at saving money to pay for air traffic fuel and taxes.

“We will be spending less money and shaping up our figures,” Siddharth Mallya, son of Vijay Mallya announced in a press conference. Siddharth has been given the charge of leading and implementing the austerity drive as earlier he had successfully shaped up his own figure.

Vijay Mallya

Vijay Mallya reacts to a question if he could sell off his stake in Force India or Royal Challengers Bangalore to meet the expenses of Fly Kingfisher

As part of the austerity drive, the Mallya family will live a very frugal life and will cut down on all expenses e.g. no member of the family will take part in any auction to buy used underwear of Michael Jackson.

Junior Mallya also announced that he and his actress girlfriend Deepika Padukone will travel from Bangalore to Jagannath Puri in Gareeb Rath, a low-cost air-conditioned train by Indian Railways, next week and seek bailout divine blessings from god.

“We will come back in Gareeb Rath as well,” Siddharth informed, “And in future, we will always travel in trains – traveling in unreserved compartments and Mumbai local like Rahul Gandhi.”

Deepika was not with Siddharth Mallya in the press conference, but family sources indicate that the Bollywood actress agreed to take part in the austerity drive after much persuasion. At one point of time, Deepika is reported to have shown Siddharth the “missed calls” list on her mobile that had names of Ranbir Kapoor and Yuvraj Singh.

“Siddharth panicked for a minute, but he recalled being on India’s Most Desirable and regained his composure,” a family source revealed.

Unconfirmed reports say that Deepika agreed to take part in this what she called “government like drama” only after she was promised ownership of 12 flats in the upcoming Millionaires’ Paradise in Bangalore – a super-luxury apartment complex being built on Vijay Mallya’s ancestral land that will house only millionaires.

“Dr. Mallya is quite serious about such ongoing and unfinished projects that must not stop due to Fly Kingfisher crisis,” a source in the UB group told Faking News.

Yana Gupta, the in-flight safety instructor on Kingfisher flights, has been made the brand ambassador of the austerity drive as she had earlier cut down on her underwear expenses; something that experts now believe was forewarning of the mess Fly Kingfisher has now got into.

The austerity drive will go live next Monday after a grand launch party organized by the Mallyas to celebrate their new found way of life. Suhel Seth will be live tweeting the events, sources say.

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  • Bijoy

    The only austerity drive that this rich fat man can go is by cutting down clothes that women in his company wear!

    • http://srijithadvtg.blogspot.com/2011/07/lethal-agreement.html snamboy

      There isn’t much scope for that.

      • The Knight

        No scope rather!

  • nishesh

    At one point of time, Deepika is reported to have shown Siddharth the “missed calls” list on her mobile that had names of Ranbir Kapoor and Yuvraj Singh.GUD ONE P.P.

  • Priyank

    Deepika is a panvati…
    she went to Yuvraj- his form dropped
    went to Ranbir- his movies flopped…
    went to Mallyas- & their Airlines stopped :D

    • http://www.mobileradar.in aseem

      good one lol!

    • ukridge

      This is great!!

  • Vivek

    Austerity drive: dono baap beton ko ganja karke, kaajal ka tika lagakar, gadhe pe baithkara ghumawane chahhiye..

  • http://www.TechDweller.com Yash Vardhan

    So so cool!! the news is so awesome!

  • vijay *MAAL*ya

    Why the fuck is everyone making fun of me, its not my fault that i am rich and i spend my money in style.

  • Jinxed

    a low-cost air-conditioned train by Indian Railways

  • http://www.cyou.co.in rahul Gupta

    Malya and Maya … two names in news nowdays

  • http://www.shree-jee.in RK VERMA

    dear sir & mam am rk verma I INVITE ALL OF YOU REAL ESTATE WORK INVESTMENT IN GURGAON DELHI NCR INDIA ALL TYPE OF REAL ESTATE DEALS PROVIDERS COMPANY-SHREE JEE THE REALTORS- DEALS IN- RESIDATIONAL PLOTS FLATS BUILDER FLOOR KOTHI VILLA COMMERCIAL FIVE STAR HOTEL INDUSTRIALS INSTITUTIONAL FARM HOUSE GURGAON DELHI NOIDA MANESAR DHARUHERA BHIWADI BAWAL & BIG LAND BANKING ALL INDIA LEVEL BUY SALE RENT { CORPORATE LEASING} INVESTMENT ORIGINAL BOOKING ASSORED RETURN-& I REQUIRED BIG FINANCERS BIG INVESTORS INVESTMENT IN REAL ESTATE & ALL TYPE OF PROPERTY WORK GURGAON DELHI NCR INDIA.

  • ukridge

    This is a good article man!! Keep it up!!