Hisar. A team of doctors and psychiatrists from Hisar Pagalkhana (Mental Asylum) have given a clean chit to senior Congress leader Digvijay Singh in the suspected case of him being a mental patient. While doctors have certified that Digvijay Singh was not suffering from any mental illness, they have expressed concerns over the wellbeing of the Congress General Secretary as he was found to be suffering from a rare disorder called “Digvijay Singh”.
“He is not pagal (mad),” declared Dr. Hariram Bishnoi, bringing relief to the Faking News correspondent.
“But he is suffering from Digvijay Singh,” he added, “It is a recent phenomenon and researchers all over the world are trying to study the causes and effects of this ailment. We would soon come with the details of this ailment and a medical name for it. For now, we are calling it ‘Digvijay Singh’.”
Both Digvijay Singh (the human being) and social activist Anna Hazare had gone to Hisar Mental Asylum after the congress leader challenged Anna on Sunday to accompany him to a hospital and get their brains checked.
Anna took up this challenge yesterday itself and both of them visited Hisar Pagalkhana early today morning.
“Anna was discharged in fifteen minutes as no major symptoms of any mental illness were found,” Dr. Bishnoi informed, “However Digvijay Singh kept on pointing fingers at Anna and yelling ‘Gandhigiri karta hai, chemical locha hai,’ all the while we were examining Anna.”
“We had tough time concentrating on our work while Diggi Raja spoke,” another member of the team that diagnosed both Anna Hazare and Digvijay Singh, said on conditions of anonymity.
After discharging Anna, the team of doctors and psychiatrists then examined Digvijay Singh. Anna Hazare didn’t point fingers or yell at Digvijay Singh all this while, but he gave four interviews to various journalists in the meantime.
“Politicians are servants and the citizens are the king (neta sevak hain, janta raja hai)” Anna Hazare repeated for the estimated 5829th time during his interview, which was suddenly interrupted by Digvijay Singh.
“Main raja hoon!” Digvijay Singh, fondly known as Diggi Raja, is reported to have objected when Anna declared the citizens (janta) as king (raja) during the interview.
At this point of time, the doctors concluded that Digvijay Singh was not stark mad, but he was simply suffering from “Digvijay Singh”.
“This primarily appears like a speech disorder,” Dr. Bishnoi gave more details about Digvijay Singh (the disease).
“We will undertake more lab tests and researches. As of now, this doesn’t look like any mental illness; but we will wait before jumping to any conclusion,” he said.
Sources inform that the team of doctors and psychiatrists had earlier decided to call this peculiar speech disorder as “Diggi Raja Speech Syndrome” but decided against it as it shortened to “D-RSS”.
“It could have worsened the situation and Digvijay Singh could have turned violent,” Dr. Bishnoi explained why the team decided to drop the name “D-RSS”.
While Digvijay Singh has expressed happiness and satisfaction at being certified a non-mental patient by the doctors, he expressed fears that some doctors of the Hisar Mental Asylum could be RSS members, who gave a clean chit to Anna as well.
“I stand vindicated,” Digvijay Singh said in a press conference afterwards.
Meanwhile Congress too has expressed happiness over clean chit to Digvijay Singh and has decided not to show black flags to Advani during his latest Rath Yatra, which starts tomorrow.
“We will instead show white flags with Digvijay Singh’s face printed on them,” a party source revealed.