New Delhi. After social activist Anna Hazare’s “second freedom movement” to get rid of corruption from India got massive public support, government has initiated talks with “corruption” for a smooth and safe exit from India, as was done with British nationals when they left India following the first freedom movement.

Government has constituted an “empowered group of corrupt persons” (EGCP) who would work closely with a group of government representatives to draw an exit route and plan.

“We don’t want to leave this country; we are also a part of the Indian culture and social system,” Sharad Raja, the chairman of the EGCP told Faking News, “But if the fellow Indians want us to leave this country, they should at least make alternative arrangements for us.”

Corruption Quit India

Corrupt persons were very scared after reading such slogans and they immediately contacted the government for support

Mr. Raja claimed that relocation to places like Tihar Jail was “out of question” as Tihar was a part of India. “They have asked corruption to quit India, so going to jail is not the solution,” he said.

Sources inform that the corrupt persons, representing corruption, were initially lobbying for a “personal law” (as against the Lokpal law) for themselves because corruption was a way of life, almost a religion, for them.

“They wanted themselves to be out of the purview of the proposed Lokpal Bill, but we realized that it can’t work, so we started talks on their relocation,” Union Law Minister Salman Khursheed said.

It’s not yet clear where the corrupt will go; and their numbers are estimated to be running in millions.

“England has refused to take them in arguing that they were not at all responsible for giving birth to any of them, while Pakistan, where the opposition wanted the corrupts to go, asked for a similar favor from us,” informed Mr. Khursheed.

“Switzerland, where their money is supposed to be lying safe, too doesn’t want them,” the minister revealed.

Apart from the huge numbers of corrupt persons, the government is also facing a crisis in relocating them as it could cause the rest of the system to collapse.

“They are everywhere – in government organizations, private sector, bureaucracy, police, NGOs, judiciary, journalism… almost in every sector – in sizable numbers and many of them on important positions. If we banish all of them, those left might be overburdened and the system could collapse,” feared a government representative in talks with “corruption”.

“We will manage this,” the government representative expressed hope and confidence as Sharad Raja nodded in agreement.

(originally written for and published in English daily DNA)
(image courtesy)

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11 Responses to “Government to relocate corrupt people after others ask them to Quit India”

  1. “Personal law” for corrupt persons is a win! I think the government version of Lokpal is exactly that 😉

  2. Rajiv Kumar August 20, 2011

    super article PP..loved the satire

  3. viren shah August 21, 2011

    As such all the corrupt politician should be packed in the Goods train like in Germany during World war 2 in the concentration Kamp and send it to GAS CHAMBER

    • Why only politicians ? The amount involved in the corruption cases again them doesn’t mean they are the only culprits. Every citizen of our country has a part in corruption menace. By your view, our country should be nuked once to save this word.

      Every one supporting Anna say that are against corruption. But I don’t think even 1% of them will pledge that they will not involve in any corruption in the future.

      It has become fashion for every Tom, Dick and Harry to support Anna these days.

      • anna came out .noone did.

        everyone shud support him .he fight for corruption and will save india.
        he fast for so many days and nights.go to jail.
        y u not support him. u dont want corruption

  4. Amazing satire…:)

  5. Venkataramani August 22, 2011

    It is a life and death problem for all corrupt forces in the country. I wish all corrupt forces unite under the leadership of Sonia Gandhi and fight Anna Hazare & his team with force and vigor. I request Suresh Kalmadi, Sharad Pawar, Mayavathi, Mulayam, Lallu, Karunanidhi, Jayalalitha, A Raja like people to forget their differences and join the Sonia Gandhi brigade in full force. It is a historic call to protect our turf where trespassers like Anna Hazare are encroaching.

  6. Nice post.

  7. I am a Docter at swissbank August 22, 2011

    Latest bulletin for “her” ailment.She is afflicted with Anna-Phobia.

    A phobia (from the Greek: φόβος, Phóbos, meaning “fear” or “morbid fear”) is a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational. In the event the phobia cannot be avoided entirely the sufferer will endure the situation or object with marked distress and significant interference in social or occupational activities.

  8. Govt abolished, but 4 Anna still in circulation! Way to Go Anna, Kejriwal, Bedi and the Indian Public! 🙂

  9. Without Sonia, our country is rudderless. Now Rahul Gandhi will save our nation. Rahul released Anna from jail but Anna is not grateful. Rahul wants to lead us and guide us, but we are not grateful. He is patiently waiting for us to cool down, that is why he is silent. If we don’t cool down, he will leave us, then we will miss him and then we will repent for not being grateful earlier. We all think that he will take credit for Jan Lokpal in the end to become PM. But he is not selfish, just like his mother. He will refuse to become PM just like his mother. Then he will become the PM of our hearts PERMANENTLY – just like his mother. All future PMs will consult him FOREVER. Anything bad will be PM’s fault. Anything good will be due to Rahulji’s guidance. But we don’t deserve such good people because we refuse to calm down and we refuse to be grateful. May God help us.