NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. After Suresh Kalmadi was diagnosed with dementia, a disorder that causes people to have memory loss, Supreme Court has ordered Tihar jail authorities to tattoo all facts and data related to the CWG scam on Kalmadi’s body. The apex court took this suo motto action based on the events portrayed in the Bollywood movie Ghajini, where Aamir Khan’s character tattoos his body with information he doesn’t want to lose.

“We can’t risk losing information related to the CWG scam like we have been losing files related to the Adarsh Housing scam,” Court said, “We can’t allow Suresh Kalmadi to forget whatever little he revealed. His confessions and statements should be finely documented and he should be constantly reminded of them, lest he goes back on them citing his mental medical condition.”

Kalmadi with tattoo

Sources reveal that Kalmadi is now planning to get infected with dyslexia, a learning disorder portrayed in the movie ‘Taare Zameen Par’, so that he fails to read the facts tattooed on his body.

Supreme Court has asked Tihar jail authorities to watch Ghajini and Memento, the Hollywood movie that originally showed a guy with a memory loss disorder, and learn finer details on “helping” such people deal with their medical condition.

“The best way out will be to log all the confessions and statement on his body in form of tattoos,” the court suggested a “treatment” to Kalmadi.

However, legal experts point out that Kalmadi might escape being tattooed as it could be deemed as an attack on individual freedom.

“Unless qualified doctors certify that what they showed in the movies i.e. tattooing was the only way to deal with this disorder, such a step would be similar to writing ‘mera baap chor hai’ on someone’s hand, as was shown in another movie,” Ramjhooth Malani, a lawyer expressing willingness to defend Kalmadi, argued.

Tihar jail authorities were not available to comment on the court order as it was a Sunday. Faking News then looked into the cell of Suresh Kalmadi to find out if the authorities were having tea there, but Kalmadi was found alone. When asked to comment, Kalmadi claimed that he didn’t remember anything related to any scam.

“What scam? Who are you guys? RSS agents? Don’t you know I’ve been given clean chit by Digvijay Singh?” Kalmadi told Faking News, which showed that he hadn’t forgotten everything yet.

Meanwhile sources inform that many other politicians lodged in Tihar jail have asked their doctors to find out if dementia was a contagious disease. If found so, they have expressed keen interest to get shifted to Kalmadi’s cell in order to get infected with the same disorder.

“Complaining of heart pain after being arrested on corruption charges is an old trick now, this one is simply awesome,” a politician lodged in Tihar jail said.

“All scams will become notional for us once we forget about them,” he added.

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