NEWSWIRE

Mumbai. In a startling revelation, the World Wonders Federation (WWF) has decided to include the MV Wisdom vessel marooned at the Juhu Beach as the 8th Wonder of the World. This after the ship saw more curious and dedicated visitors coming to see it in a single day than the numbers of tourists ever been recorded for any of the 7 Wonders in the last decade.

“There were almost 5 lakh people on the beach on Sunday,” said B. Puriwala, a roadside food-vendor who, since the unforeseen arrival of the MV Wisdom on Juhu’s shores has seen his business skyrocket.

“I have been doing crazy business for the last 2 weeks, and have made enough to afford a flat in Juhu. MV Wisdom has changed my life. It is truly a wonder,” He goes on to show a picture of him with the ship taken by his friend and professional beach photographer, Nikon Shah, who later offered to photograph this reporter for Rs.100/-

MV Wisdom ship at Juhu Beach in Mumbai

Many groups are demanding that MV Wisdom should be converted into a shopping complex or another Chowpatty in the middle of the sea.

People are flocking to Juhu beach in crazy numbers from all over the country and are willing to do almost anything to get a glimpse of the ship.

K. Donar from Surat sold one of his kidneys on Naaptol.com to afford air tickets to Mumbai: “My organs are a small price to pay for seeing this thing of beauty. It is so wonderful. I am so happy the WWF has decided to give it the recognition it deserves.”

Even celebrities from Mumbai have been putting up with the 10km-long traffic jams in Juhu to be a part of this. Sachin Tendulkar is reported as having seen the vessel and exclaimed, “Haila! Ship!”

Although authorities tried to dislodge the ship from the ground with a tug-boat, efforts were futile. Many believe the MV Wisdom possesses mystical powers to keep it ashore, and there are some conspiracy theorists who believe there may well be aliens residing within the vessel, which further fuel claims that the ship really does deserve the Wonder status.

The WWF will inaugurate MV Wisdom as an official addition into the World Wonder roster on Sunday, the 3rd of July and this will be celebrated with a concert by UK band Gorillaz, who will be performing songs from their popular album, Plastic Beach, from 7pm onwards. The event will be sponsored by Anchor White, a popular toothpaste brand.

A crowd of well over 40 lakh is expected to populate the beach for the ceremony on Sunday, much to the disillusion of the Mumbai Traffic Police. Senior Inspector P.K. Chalav said, “We have been trying to control people and tell them the ship isn’t a big deal and they should go home on Sundays and watch India’s Most Desirable, but they refuse to co-operate. We don’t really hold that against them. Even we would rather watch the ship instead of Simi Garewal. But the WWF didn’t need to go and screw us over like this. This is bull-ship (quote modified for censorship purposes).”

As the world watches MV Wisdom enter the history books, Mumbai’s coast-guard acknowledges that safety will be an issue. A senior member said, “A team of lifeguards from the Baywatch agency will be in place to prevent people from drowning, but personally I advise citizens to take precautionary measures and not rely on them. I have seen these Baywatch people on TV. They run very slowly.”

(Editor’s note: The picture in this report has been taken randomly from the internet. This reporter refused to pay 100 rupees for the photo with the ship as reporters are not paid even a single paisa for their reportage. However, please note that no FN reporter has ever gone on strike till date demanding salary hike. This particular unpaid reporter tweets here.)

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  • Jigna Khajuria

    LOLZ!!! I really liked the way you have used various names to indicate the different characters here :)

  • rhea abrenio

    That would be nice!!!