NEWSWIRE

Washington, DC. After facing strong criticism from the government and the civil society of Pakistan for its unilateral military action on Pakistani soil to kill Osama, US has apologized for any such step that it may take in future to target those whom it consider terrorists.

“Frankly we had no idea that it was a unilateral action,” John Brennan, a top White House official said, “It was just like any other of those drone attacks, which we used to carry out if and when we had some random intelligence. Yeah, there were some differences arising out of unforeseen reasons this time.”

The official conceded that Pakistani military or establishment was not involved or informed about the anti-Osama operation, but clarified that US didn’t do that on purpose.

US drone

A file photo showing a US army personnel unilaterally preparing for a drone attack

“Earlier we used to send SMS to the Pakistani army officials about our planned drone attacks, and used to launch the drones the moment we got the delivery report on our handsets,” John revealed, “This time there seemed to be some network problem as we got the delivery report after 12 hours.”

The official pointed out that even the radar system of Pakistani army was not working that day.

“It was some technical snag for sure, no malicious intents on our side,” he claimed.

“But if the folks back there claim it was some sort of unilateral action that they thought was improper; cool, we’d keep that in mind next time we strike,” John Brennan said, “We apologize for it if they don’t like it. No issues.”

But the official clarified that he was not tendering any apology for the anti-Osama operation as the modus operandi for such an operation had already been finalized and agreed upon at least 10 years ago between the then Presidents Pervez Musharraf and George W Bush.

“See, this style of operation worked, and we are not in a mood to redraw our strategy as it took 10 years to catch that Osama dude,” he said, “We apologize for our next strike is all that I’m saying.”

When asked why US Navy SEALs didn’t wait for the SMS delivery report, John Brenna was a bit evasive. “Our boys were getting restless,” was all that he said.

Meanwhile Pakistani military has termed the US official’s claims a “big lie”.

“They had got the delivery report as well as our reply,” General Ashfaq Parvez Kayani told Faking News, showing us the reply in his “sent” items folder that read, “Wait!”

print Print

Report filed under:

World


  • idiot420

    awesome……..

  • Engineer

    General Ashfaq Parvez Kayani told Faking News, showing us the reply in his “sent” items folder that read, “Wait!”
    HAhahaha