NEWSWIRE

Indore. A local man is under investigation following an alleged “fake encounter” that took place in his own home. The incident occurred at approximately 9.34 pm in the kitchen of a family house on the outskirts of the city.

Radhika, both wife of the accused and the principle investigator, reports hearing “two bangs”. Her face wrinkled with disgust as she told Faking News how she rushed to the kitchen to find her husband Ajay, 48, standing over what appeared to be the dead body of a mouse, with a shoe in his right hand.

“This was premeditated,” claims Radhika, “the mouse had left some droppings in his shoes and chewed a hole in his Naman Ojha signed cricket shirt – he hated the poor little creature, so he was looking for an excuse.” Faking News agreed that these were not really crimes at all as freedom of defecation is enjoyed by many in India and the shirt was of no value.

House Mouse

The murdered mouse looked a lot like this one

Radhika has cordoned off a one-meter-square area in the kitchen as a “crime scene”. It is clear from the blood stains on the floor, she says, that the victim was “trying to flee when the fatal blow was struck”. The body was conveniently eaten by a passing cat shortly after the incident. Radhika suspects a conspiracy.

Faking News located the cat in question in a nearby dustbin. However, unwilling to talk and fearing media exposure, the brown and white animal fled the scene by disappearing through a crack in the fence.

Ajay rejects his wife’s claims. He admits administering the blows, but claims self-defense. “It had a look of intent in its eyes,” he said, “it might look small and fluffy but rodents are dangerous – look at the Plague and the mautam in Mizoram, I didn’t want anything like that happening in this house, think of the children.” He then hopped to his scooter; his wife having confiscated his right shoe as “evidence”.

Faking News asked the local police if they would investigate the “fake encounter”, but was told that looking into such things was “not police policy”. Although the officer did remark that getting a cat to eat the body showed “impressive imagination”. Our correspondent then tried to involve several high profile animal charities, but found that they were only interested in tigers (“mice do not need protection”).

Meanwhile filmmaker Apoorva Lakhia, who had earlier directed the movie Shootout at Lokhandwala, is rumored to be basing a new film on the Indore encounter with the same star cast. The lead role of Ajay could be bagged by either Sanjay Dutt or Amitabh Bachchan, while Tusshar Kapoor could play the mouse.

Report filed under:

Crime

About :
Part-time writer, part-time researcher, full-time faker.

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  • Arbit

    Could not understand the satire and the timing!!!

  • hudukchullu

    Kuch nahi chamka bhai :O

  • Mukta

    literary! :)

  • Dhaval

    “.. while Tusshar Kapoor could play the mouse.” ROFL :D :D

  • Fuzzy Logic

    Worst article ever on Faking News!

    • xtreme

      Yes…seems like its straight from the year 2005 when Sohrabbuddin was shot like a rat.

      • Fuzzy Logic

        i didnt understand your comment at all?

        • xtreme

          The article would fit the situation of 2005 when Sohrabbudin was shot by Gujarat police.
          The police force instead received penalties/punishment by ‘sickulars’. Sohrabbudin was a pest and was known to have terrorist links with Dawood Ebrahim.

  • BiG B

    So tushar kapoor playing the role of dead mouse would mean he will not have a actual presence in the movie & that could protect the movie from being a flop :)

  • broadway

    Awesome.

    “mice do not need protection” > “Tigers do!! hhaha

  • sri

    I couldn’t stop laughing after reading your news… Thanks a lot man… crap congress will go to any extent to trouble opp party

  • Onkar

    “Faking News agreed that these were not really crimes at all as freedom of defecation is enjoyed by many in India and the shirt was of no value”

    Man, you are awesome :D