Mumbai. Appreciating the fact that vanity in India is not limited to raising one’s own stature but it extends to belittling others’ as well, the London based renowned wax museum chain Madame Tussauds has announced its intentions to sell celebrity wax candles in India. These candles can be fire lit by the buyers, who can consequently derive satisfaction of having triggered the “meltdown” of their “favorite” character.
“We realized that perhaps having a wax statue of themselves wouldn’t excite the Indians as much as them being able to destroy others’ statues,” Momtaz Khan, the head of to-be-launched Mumbai branch of Madame Tussauds said, “That’s why, for our Indian operations, we decided to manufacture and sell human shaped wax candles instead of opening the usual museum with life-size wax statues in it.”
The first product of Madame Tussauds Mumbai has been named “King Candle”, which is a wax candle cast in the shape of Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan. The six-inch long candles have been priced at a premium of 2,000 rupees each, but a 20% discount has been offered for fans of Aamir Khan and Salman Khan.
“We would also ship a complimentary packet of dozen King Candles each to Aamir and Salman,” Momtaz informed, “Now they can see the six-pack abs of Shahrukh melt away in minutes. In fact, they can enjoy the whole Shahrukh being put on fire and disappearing even as they enjoy a candle light dinner!”
Momtaz completely rejected the criticism that the “burning” of celebrity wax candles amounted to promotion of witchcraft. “This is just art and anger management rolled into one,” he said.
“Why bother having a dog named Shahrukh when you can burn away an eponymous candle?” Momtaz further enumerated the “benefits” of celebrity wax candles to the prospective buyers.
Madame Tussauds is hopeful that its maiden product in India would be a runaway success and informed that their celebrity wax candles won’t be limited to Bollywood celebrities.
“Our next product could be a series of affordable and cheap Mayawati wax candles targeted at Uttar Pradesh market,” Momtaz disclosed the future plans of Madame Tussauds Mumbai as he listed out another benefit of the celebrity candles, “Parties like Samajwadi Party, which have been using violent means of protests till now, could be thus encouraged to take out candle light vigils.”
“Yes, we could also produce made-to-order customized candles in future,” Momtaz responded to a query by Faking News, “People can send the photos and physical details about their relatives, friends, colleagues, etc. and we can help them witness the desired destruction of their folks.”
(with inputs from Deepayan Ghosh)