NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. A group of Arab diplomats have landed in New Delhi to have an emergency round of discussion with Indian authorities on how to tackle popular unrest against establishments in the Middle Eastern countries.

Recent protests in Tunisia, Yemen and Egypt have worried every little country in that region that very soon their own citizens could also rise against their governments for giving them shit in the name of better governance and freedom.

“I mean, fine, India is a democracy, but the citizens here get the same shit, isn’t it?” a delegate from Saudi Arabia explained to Faking News, “I mean look at corruption around you. People are burnt alive or shot dead if they oppose it, while others die of hunger. But no, Indians are so happy! We need to learn this art to manage our own guys.”

Pro-democracy protests in Egypt

The flag, which appears like an Indian tricolor, is actually an Egyptian flag, held by people who had it enough and now want their nation to be governed in a better fashion.

Similar sentiments were echoed by diplomats of other countries who marveled at the capacity of an ordinary Indian to put up with all kind of shit that flows from the above. They wondered what was bugging their own people.

“We didn’t even raise petrol prices dammit! They get it cheap as water,” wondered the guy from Yemen, who confirmed that it was mostly the middle class in those countries that was leading the protests.

“Indian middle class is sexy,” said the Yemeni diplomat, who further clarified, “See, we are cool with one of those occasional silent marches or candle light vigils, but that’s it! People should go back to their homes and start relaxing; no problem with that, none at all.”

The diplomats summarily rejected the idea that the local population in the Middle Eastern countries wanted democracy as an alternate system of governance.

“Oh come on, look at Pakistan and people in Kashmir; guys want to move away from democracy there,” pointed out a diplomat, who further informed that their delegation will also visit Pakistan to understand how to deal with this “democracy bullshit”.

print Print

Report filed under:

World


  • Funky

    Only in Bollywood movies(like RDB) can we find such uprising.
    Not in real Indian street.

    In fact, these very movies have deviated the youth of our country. They watch movies mechanically, instead of learning lessons from it.

  • Indian Diplomats

    Best solutions is to make channels like Bindass and MTV. Youths will forget all the problems of the country.

    • Paro

      hehhehe…lol.. :D :D it might just work…!!!!

  • http://iamashishkalsi.blogspot.com/ Ashish Kalsi

    I think it’s a beautifully written piece which is funny and yet centers about a very serious issue. Should Indians do the same as the Egyptians? But whom do we protest against? We are a democracy(sic) and have elected the corrupt (our “leaders”). All we can do is wait for the next general elections and vote for the “lesser” of the 2 evil which isn’t going to make much of a difference anyway.
    Is there a solution is sight? Doubt it. God bless India.

    • Ram

      i second u on that…

      • Tarang

        sadly the only answer lies in cleaning the political system from ground up. Unless more and more educated people start joining politics and contesting for office nothing will improve. Anna Hazare is protesting, but what is he protesting against? What are our options? Our country boasts of the best brains in the world and when we look at politics and leadership what are our options? Congress and BJP?

  • Paro

    Wonderful article PP…. :)

  • Vengu

    “THe people get the government they deserve”. We indians are full of shit and our governments are just a representation of our quality :D :D .Beuatiful pile of shit we are!

  • http://www.srikanta.co.cc Srikanta

    haha :) superbly written and nice ‘shit’ words ‘coming from top’ :) .. loved it

  • http://aamjanata.com Vidyut

    Video games and TV. Whenever they find youth agitating on the street, they should give them playstations. India gifted the Hindus and Muslims in Gujrat play stations after the tragic riots. Ever since, calls to violence are responded with “coming in 10 mins, let me finish this game”. Other states do not understand this inexplicable phenomenon and were outraged when a Muslim playsttation addict correctly praised Modi for his intervention for peace.

    There are rumors that Omar Abdullah is engaged in talks with Modi to discover the strategy for Kashmir and initial plans for playstation offers to individuals and groups identified by the interlocutors are being drafted. There are also rumors of a new stone pelting video game that will give angry youth the satisfaction of pelting troops with stones without risking lives. “This is so cool. I had never thought I could know exactly how many soldiers I have pelted” said Stoned56Out, a participant in a pilot study, which will be an important part of the peace struggle to be launched this summer. 1StoneFitsAll said “We even have different points for different kinds of troops. and online tournaments” The game, tentatively named “Stone Pelters of Kashmir” is set for launch in a massive exchange offer to be launched this summer where youth can exchange 20 stones for a game station.

  • Yesiam!

    We all OWE you..PP!!