NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. With 30% Indians corrupt to the core and most of them residing in Delhi, experts have warned that mosquitoes in the city could be turning mutant after sucking such a high proportion of corrupt blood. These mutant mosquitoes could cause a more virulent form of dengue and are believed to pose a bigger threat to the common man’s life and the Commonwealth Games than earlier thought.

“Municipal corporations and the government officials are responsible, but not because they shirked their duties and paid no attention to preventive measures like fogging and larvae control, but because they allowed their corrupt blood to be sucked.” Dr. Pratyush Sinha, a biologist who diagnosed and found out this dangerous mutation in Delhi mosquitoes, said.

Anopheles stephensi

A mosquito is seen here, allegedly oozing with corrupt blood of some Indian

“Charity begins at home. If these guys had taken proper care of themselves and had not allowed themselves to be bitten by mosquitoes, we would not have been facing such an acute crisis today.” Dr. Sinha said, blaming the corrupt guys to be “recklessly corrupt”.

Dr. Sinha also blamed the Commonwealth Games for the mutation among the mosquitoes as a large number of corrupt persons involved with the games had frequented Delhi in the past few months, which provided a huge pool of corrupt blood to the city mosquitoes upon which they thrived and evolved into a mutant.

“It’s ironical that the games, which in a way gave rise to these mutant mosquitoes, are now facing threat from the same mosquitoes; almost the same way US is facing threat from the Jihadists.” Dr. Sinha said.

It’s not yet known for sure how lethal the mutant mosquitoes have become after drinking corrupt blood and if the new form of dengue caused by them is curable or not, but Dr. Sinha cautioned that the mutation has changed the nature of the mosquitoes for good.

“Technically, mosquitoes were not regarded as parasites; they just sucked blood and left. But after sucking corrupt blood, they have now turned into a parasitical predator. They would now suck blood and become a part of you, much like the people whose blood they sucked.” informed Dr. Sinha about the genetic changes in the mutant mosquitoes.

Meanwhile the government has reacted cautiously to the new findings.

“Let the reports come to us. We will study them in detail and let you know of our stand on the same.” Union Health Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad told Faking News.

But sources indicate that the government could blame the mutation of mosquitoes on the superbug (New Delhi metallo beta lactamase or NDM-1) which the British scientists had claimed as originating from India. Government is planning to declare the NDM-1 superbug as the “corruption bug” and trace it to the bureaucracy created by the British government in the pre-independence India, thus avenging the New Delhi tag given to it.

But instead of getting into this blame game, the common man in the dirty streets of Delhi has called for adoption of “socially responsible corrupt practices” by the society, so that corruption doesn’t give rise to further mutant creatures.

“Sure, corrupt guys need to be a bit responsible, but what about others? Only 20% of us are not corrupt; that makes us a minority community. When are we going to have our rights?” wondered Shafi Imaandar living in Patparganj, who wished honest persons like him had their own educational and cultural institutions and other benefits to save their dwindling numbers.

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  • Manish

    Excellent satire PP! Loved it :)

  • Vikas

    suna tha ek machchhar aadmi ko hijra bana deta hai, lekin ye to aadmi hi machchhar ko hijra bana raha hai ab! :p

  • sumanth

    “It’s ironical that the games, which in a way gave rise to these mutant mosquitoes, are now facing threat from the same mosquitoes; almost the same way US is facing threat from the Jihadists.” Dr. Sinha said. — CLASSIS STATEMENT

  • UTNIR

    “Only 20% of us are not corrupt; that makes us a minority community. When are we going to have our rights?”–too good…