New Delhi. Daati Maharaj of India TV has developed a mantra that allegedly contains powers of controlling the mehengai daayan i.e. the witch of inflation. The path-breaking development, which could bring relief to millions of Indian citizens, was announced in a live program on the news channel earlier today. The program would be repeated three times daily for the next three weeks for the benefit of the viewers who might have missed it today.
“om bwin dim sharad phat phut pranab sili dwin bim hum sarvda” was the essence of the mantra that Saint Shiromani Shanicharanuragi ‘Daati’ Madan Maharaj Rajasthani ji announced live on the show, as he went on to propose various other means to rein in and restrain the atrocities of mehengai daayan.
“Apart from repeating the mantra three times a day after drinking buffalo’s milk, sleep with a black-brown dog on a blue mattress made of jute, holding his left rear leg with your right hand, on days when Sensex loses more than 100 points.” Daati Maharaj proposed an add-on solution, arguably adding business and economics parameters to the occult for the first time.
The show was also attended by a jobless economist, ubiquitous rationalist, and a PR publicist of Aamir Khan Productions. While the rationalist kept on smiling and laughing as Daati Maharaj proposed his solution to fight the witch of inflation, the economist claimed that anything could work in the current scheme of things.
“Let people try out these means. Once the results, whether positive or negative, are out, I’d be able to explain the phenomenon.” the economist claimed, backed the PR publicist, who added that people should also watch the upcoming Bollywood movie Peepli Live so that they can spot and identify the witch of inflation without any trouble.
“It will just cost you a few hundred bucks, but it’s worth it to rein in the witch.” the PR person added.
India TV played video clips from the movie before and after each commercial break and also during the show various times, but denied that the program was any paid attempt to promote the movie.
“It’s one of our sincere attempts to help India gain freedom from chudails, daayans, bhoots, aliens, and other evil forces; completely in line with our philosophy and editorial policies.” India TV head Rajat Sharma told Faking News.
Common viewers had mixed reaction to the show and the solution proposed by India TV, but many of them supported such initiatives.
“Ab government se toh kuchh ho nahi raha, yehi kar ke dekhte hain (now that the government has failed to control inflation, let me try this out)” said one of the viewers holding a black-brown dog.