NEWSWIRE

Guatemala City. A new study into Mayan calendar, writing and mythology has revealed that most of us could be turning into asses by the end of 2012 i.e. within three years from today, in fact the process is believed to have already started according to the latest research. The study warns that the human race will be replaced by donkeys (also known as asses) and the existing donkeys will rule over the neo-donkeys.

“Yes, there will be doomsday, but only for the human race. The earth will survive and so will the flora and fauna, sans the humanity. An army of asses will rise from its ashes and enslave the human race. They will also genetically modify us to transform us into substandard asses while the existing asses will rule over us.” Prof. Carlos Santana, who deciphered the new prophecy, informed.

A cave painting showing a Mayan King riding an ass

A cave painting showing a Mayan King riding an ass

New study has revealed that prehistoric Mayan Kings used to ride donkeys and it was considered to be a mark of respect in those times. In fact the kingdom’s army used to have large fleets of donkeys and wars were fought valiantly with donkeys braying on both the sides. Around the year 1900 BC, a renegade Mayan Knight is supposed to have ridden a horse and defeated the then King in a battle after challenging him publicly. The Knight became the next King and he ordered a mass execution of all the royal donkeys.

“All the asses in the army were beheaded and their bodies were burnt and dumped into a large well in the modern day Belize. This horrified all the other asses and since then the asses have been in a state of shock. The modern day asses are still mourning that massacre and that’s why they are largely silent and tolerant to human excesses. But they are all full of hope and belief that one day that massacred army of asses will rise from the ashes and take revenge.” Prof. Carlos disclosed the startling facts.

According to Prof. Carlos, the army of asses will rejuvenate the existing asses and these slothful looking creatures will be filled with unmatched alacrity and intellect. Then, these asses, under the leadership of the reborn asses, will march to subjugate the human beings. In fact Prof. Carlos believes that a few overexcited asses are already jumping the gun and are attacking human beings in different parts of the world.

This innocuous looking donkey could actually be thinking about massacring human beings

This innocuous looking donkey could actually be thinking about massacring human beings

Such attacks by asses on human beings are expected to grow rapidly in the coming months. Human beings would debate and plan how to tackle donkey kickbacks, but by then the dead army of asses would have been resurrected, followed by the doomsday. These chilling details of the new found prophecy effectively makes each ass in our neighborhood a potential future oppressor of the human race. So should we kill all the asses?

“No! That would be even more tragic. Each ass that we would kill will be joining the army of the dead asses and this way we would end up dealing with a much powerful army. Instead of killing asses, we should be undertaking more research to find out what kind of strength the army of the dead asses could have. We should prepare for the inevitable battle. I volunteer for the research and I hope the governments around the world would help me with grants.” Prof. Carlos asked for help to save humanity.

The research is already creating strong ripples across the world with various Hollywood producers queuing up to make a movie on the grand battle between asses and human beings. Produces claim that these big budgeted movies would also help in further research and would help the humanity fight the asses. Leading author Dan Brown too is supposed to be mulling over the possibility of writing a book over this possible ass attack.

News channels in India too alerted its viewer about the possible revenge of the asses causing widespread hate attack against asses in various parts of the country. Government has appealed for restraint and has asked people not to act like asses. Home Minister P Chidambaram has assured the citizens that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh would be soon talking about this acute ass problem with US President Barack Obama.

Report filed under:

Astrology


8 Responses to “New prophecy predicts humans turning into donkeys by 2012”

  1. replicagucci May 26, 2016

    Online New Balance Sko OutletOnline New Balance Sko OutletOnline New Balance Sko Outlet

    New Balance Herre : Professionelle nye balance sko butikker, thenewbalance.net

    #sddm
    { margin: 0 auto;
    padding: 0;
    z-index: 30;
    background-color:#F4F4F4;
    width: 80px;
    height:23px;
    float: right;
    margin-right: 70px;}

    #sddm li
    { margin: 0;
    padding: 0;
    list-style: none;
    float: left;
    font: bold 12px arial}

    #sddm li a
    { display: block;
    margin: 0 1px 0 0;
    padding: 4px 10px;
    width: 60px;
    background: #eee;
    color: #666;
    text-align: center;
    text-decoration: none}

    #sddm li a:hover
    { background: #49A3FF}

    #sddm div
    { position: absolute;
    visibility: hidden;
    margin: 0;
    padding: 0;
    background: #EAEBD8;
    border: 1px solid #5970B2}

    #sddm div a
    { position: relative;
    display: block;
    margin: 0;
    padding: 5px 10px;
    width: auto;
    white-space: nowrap;
    text-align: left;
    text-decoration: none;
    background: #EAEBD8;
    color: #2875DE;
    font: 12px arial}

    #sddm div a:hover
    { background: #49A3FF;
    color: #FFF}

    Language


    Deutsch


    Français


    Italiano


    Español


    Português


    日本語


    Russian


    Arabic


    Norwegian


    Swedish


    Danish


    Nederlands


    Finland


    Ireland


    English

    Welcome!
    Log ind
    eller Tilmeld

    Din indkøbskurv er tom

    New Balance Herre
    New Balance Dame

    Valutaer

    US Dollar
    CNY
    Euro
    GB Pound
    Canadian Dollar
    Australian Dollar
    Jappen Yen
    Norske Krone
    Swedish Krone
    Danish Krone

    Kategorier

    New Balance Herre
    New Balance A20 Herre
    New Balance MR62 Herre
    New Balance MR905 Herre
    New Balance MS77 Herre
    Nye Balance 1400 Herre
    Nye Balance 1600 Herre
    Nye Balance 574 Herre
    Nye Balance 595 Herre
    Nye Balance 620 Herre
    Nye Balance 990 Herre
    Nye Balance 991 Herre
    Nye Balance 996 Herre
    Nye Balance 998 Herre
    Nye Balance 999 Herre
    New Balance Dame
    New Balance Par Sko

    Featured –   [mere]
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 595 YellowWhite Dame-sko onlineDKK1,061.88  DKK524.97Spar: 51% offNew Balance Sko – New Balance 595 RedWhite Dame Sko OnlineDKK1,061.88  DKK524.97Spar: 51% offNew Balance Sko – New Balance 595 GreyDark Blå Dame Sko OnlineDKK1,061.88  DKK524.97Spar: 51% offNew Balance Sko – New Balance 595 SkyblueRed Dame-sko onlineDKK1,061.88  DKK524.97Spar: 51% off

    Specials –   [mere]
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 996 Lilla Dame-sko onlineDKK1,073.81  DKK536.90Spar: 50% offNew Balance Sko – New Balance 996 PinkGreyWhite Dame-sko onlineDKK1,073.81  DKK536.90Spar: 50% offNew Balance Sko – New Balance 996 Rød Dame-sko onlineDKK1,073.81  DKK536.90Spar: 50% off

    Hjem :: 
    New Balance Herre

    New Balance Herre

    Filter Results by:
    Items starting with …
    A
    B
    C
    D
    E
    F
    G
    H
    I
    J
    K
    L
    M
    N
    O
    P
    Q
    R
    S
    T
    U
    V
    W
    X
    Y
    Z
    0
    1
    2
    3
    4
    5
    6
    7
    8
    9

    Viser 1 til 18 (ud af 155 produkter)
     1  2  3  4  5   9  [Næste >>] 

    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 Blå Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 BlackOrangeGreen Herre skDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 BlackPurpleRed Herre sko DKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 BlueGreen Herre sko onlinDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 BlueYellow Herre sko onliDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 GreenRed Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 GreyBlueOrange Herre sko DKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 GreyRed Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 Gul Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 Light grågrøn Herre sko oDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 OrangeBlack Herre sko onlDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 PurpleYellow Herre sko onDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 RedGrey Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 RedWhitePink Herre sko onDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 Rød Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 rødguld Drage Herre sko oDKK1,151.36  DKK548.84Spar: 52% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 YellowGold Drage Herre skDKK1,151.36  DKK548.84Spar: 52% off
    New Balance Sko – 2013 New Balance 574 YellowWhite Herre sko onlDKK1,043.98  DKK548.84Spar: 47% off

    Viser 1 til 18 (ud af 155 produkter)
     1  2  3  4  5   9  [Næste >>] 

    Nye produkter for juni – New Balance HerreNew Balance Sko – New Balance 574 Dark Brown Herre Sko OnlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreyLight Grå Klassisk Herre sDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreenYellowPink Herre sko onliDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 mørk vin Herre Sko OnlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 Grå Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 Khaki Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 Mørkeblå Herre Sko OnlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreyBlueRed Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – Nye Balance 574 Navy Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreyYellowBlue Herre sko onlinDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 Milk Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 Mørk BlueGreySilver Herre Sko DKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreyBlue Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreenYellow Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 Mørk BlueYellow Herre Sko OnliDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – Nye Balance 574 Mørke Bluegrass Green Herre skDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreenYellowGrey Klassisk HerreDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off
    New Balance Sko – New Balance 574 GreyRedBlack Herre sko onlineDKK1,043.98  DKK530.94Spar: 49% off

    Hjælp

    Bestil Tracking
    Kuponer

    betaling & Forsendelse

    Forsendelse
    Wholesale
    betalingsmetoder

    Kundeservice

    Kontakt os
    om os

    Hot Salg

    Nye Balance Kvinder sko
    Nye Balance Mænd sko
    Nye Balance Kids Shoes
    Nye New Balance sko


    Copyright © 2012-2014 Alle rettigheder forbeholdes.

    ny balance herre sko salg
    ny balance herre sko salg

    Reply

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

  2. replicagucci May 26, 2016

    watch | ure | ure
    watch | ure | ure
    bedste omega ure replika
    bedste omega ure replika

    Reply

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

  3. replicagucci May 26, 2016

    høj kvalitet replika ure til mændureure

    Replica IWC ure

    #sddm
    { margin: 0 auto;
    padding: 0;
    z-index: 30;
    background-color:#F4F4F4;
    width: 80px;
    height:23px;
    float: right;
    margin-right: 70px;}

    #sddm li
    { margin: 0;
    padding: 0;
    list-style: none;
    float: left;
    font: bold 12px arial}

    #sddm li a
    { display: block;
    margin: 0 1px 0 0;
    padding: 4px 10px;
    width: 60px;
    background: #f4762a;
    color: #666;
    text-align: center;
    text-decoration: none}

    #sddm li a:hover
    { background: #49A3FF}

    #sddm div
    { position: absolute;
    visibility: hidden;
    margin: 0;
    padding: 0;
    background: #EAEBD8;
    border: 1px solid #5970B2}

    #sddm div a
    { position: relative;
    display: block;
    margin: 0;
    padding: 5px 10px;
    width: auto;
    white-space: nowrap;
    text-align: left;
    text-decoration: none;
    background: #EAEBD8;
    color: #2875DE;
    font: 12px arial}

    #sddm div a:hover
    { background: #49A3FF;
    color: #FFF}

    Language


    Deutsch


    Français


    Italiano


    Español


    Português


    日本語


    Russian


    Arabic


    Norwegian


    Swedish


    Danish


    Nederlands


    Finland


    Ireland


    English

    Welcome!
    Log ind
    eller Tilmeld

    Din indkøbskurv er tom

    hjem
    Top Brand ure
    Luksus Brand Ure
    Mellemklasse Brand Ure






    Valutaer

    US Dollar
    Euro
    GB Pound
    Canadian Dollar
    Australian Dollar
    Jappen Yen
    Norske Krone
    Swedish Krone
    Danish Krone
    CNY

    Kategorier

    Kopier Tag Heuer
    Kopier Omega ure
    Kopier Audemars Piguet
    Kopier Bell Ross
    Kopier Blancpain
    Kopier Breguet ure
    Kopier Breitling
    Kopier Chopard ure
    Kopier Franck Muller
    Kopier Hublot ure
    Kopier Longines ure
    Kopier Patek Philippe
    Kopier Porsche Design
    Kopier Rado ure
    Kopier Richard Mille
    Kopier Rolex ure
    Kopier Tudor ure
    Kopier U – Boat ure
    Kopier Ulysse Nardin

    hjem :: 
    Kopier IWC ure

    Kopier IWC ure

    Aquatimer ure
    Big Pilots ure
    Classic Pilot ure
    Da Vinci ure
    Ingenieur ure
    Mark XVI ure
    Piloter Chrono ure
    Piloter Double Chrono
    Portofino ure
    portugisiske ure
    Spitfire Pilot
    Tilbud ure
    Vintage Collection

    hjem
    Forsendelse
    engros
    Bestil Tracking
    kuponer
    Betalingsmetoder
    Kontakt os
    REPLICA OMEGA
    REPLICA PATEK PHILIPPE
    REPLICA ROLEX
    replika ure
    TOP mærke ure

    Copyright © 2012 Alle rettigheder forbeholdes.

    høj kvalitet replika ure
    høj kvalitet replika ure

    Reply

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Leave a Reply

Logged in as replicagucci. Logout »