NEWSWIRE

Mumbai. Leading self-help author Rohit G Verma has written a wonderful new book to help people develop effeminate qualities, which can put them in an altogether different league of success and fame. Faking News got the first copy of the book and our editorial team went sissy after reading it. We realized what a dork we have been to burn our brains and muscles to achieve those milestones that could have come our way by just acting a little effeminate.

The book is aptly titled “The Seven Habits of Highly Effeminate People” and is expected to sell at least fifteen million copies of the first print. The publishers, Bigg Books 3 Private Limited, are so confident of the sales volumes that they have already put the claim “over 15 million sold” on the top of the book. Faking News can vouch that the book will be runaway success and help people grow effeminate.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effeminate People

The Seven Habits of Highly Effeminate People

In the foreword, Rohit beautifully argues how the metrosexual men have been confused by the silly craze of developing six-pack abs and have ignored the alternate ways to achieve the desirable ends. He claims that he has hugged more women in his life than men with eight pack abs and bulging muscles. Rohit strongly urges the men to free themselves from outdated beliefs that men should be strong and stoic.

The main book is divided into seven chapters, each of them propounding a habit that makes a man effeminate, and in turn rich and famous. Each habit has been backed up with examples from personal lives of successful effeminate people from around the world, and a strong case has been built around them. Each chapter is thought provoking.

Following is a brief of all the chapters i.e. habits of effeminate people:

Habit 1: Always, without fail, sit with your legs crossed.

Habit 2: Apply kaajal on your eyes, wear a hair band, and smear some lip gloss.

Habit 3: Hug women as if they were teddy bears. Kiss men and women alike.

Habit 4: Shake hands with men and women alike. Keep a loose grip and feel their palms. Take deep breaths when you greet them.

Habit 5: Cry profusely when you don’t have any answer or when a joke is cracked on you or when someone tells you to wash the dishes.

Habit 6: Laugh profusely too. Shake your hands while laughing after your teeth are fully exposed. Cover your teeth if you have braces on them.

Habit 7: Walk as if your buttocks were piston of a steam engine.

Rohit argues that once a person masters all the above habits, he becomes highly effeminate and capable of being a celebrity. He warns that initially the society might try to resist such people and might even call them gay, but they should persist with the habits and prove their effeminacy. Rohit surely makes a strong case of everything.

Faking News recommends this book to anyone who has felt like a loser till now and has lost all hopes from life. This book can simply change your life. Go get a copy.

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  • saanchi

    haha … When is the ” 8th habbit ” coming ? I am sure it will sell 30million copies this time .. :P

  • loltard

    omg, so homophobic! :O

  • modaddy

    this is high comedy

  • Vijayan

    Buttocks comparison with that of the pistons are classic.

    Imaginations and comparisons of Pagal Patrakar is transcending the limits.

    GO GO GO

    :)

  • Renjith

    You guyzz are FUN-tastic….thought provoking and hilarious….

  • fidaforlove

    Its not homophobic.It says Effeminate not gay
    All gays are not Effeminate and all straights are not Macho.

    Thoes who asume Effeminate =Gays are actually homophobes

    • L’Etranger

      Our lord and saviour Homer J. Simpson says, “Stereotypes, they’re so funny because they’re true.”

      • fidaforlove

        True to an extent not whole true. If they were all true then we would not have called them sterotype.

        May be 20 to 30 percent true.

        Also this is a writers view. It does not make it a fact

        .

  • http://blainegarner5422.zoomshare.com/2.shtml Soren Barker

    For abs, it will be good if you train them by alternating between upper and lower abs every day. Also, I have included compound movements for the biceps which will work the fore-arms too. So don?t worry about any parts in my workout?

  • http://www.jaman.com/people/d1rkxwebber/ Kisha Ricucci

    You know this is a really good post i havent thought about this for quite a while and you have like sparked me to look into it further and re educate my self in the subject….thanks,hope to see more of your posts soon