NEWSWIRE

Hua Hin, Thailand. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao took the opportunity of their meeting here on the sidelines of India-ASEAN Summit to discuss ties. An official spokesman of the Indian delegation later told newspersons that both leaders agreed that ties were a Western import and should be banned from the East. Finding of this common ground between the two giant Asian neighbors has been largely welcomed by the experts.

Both countries agreed that roles of ties in their respective territories needed a serious re-evaluation. Chinese Premier Wen said that as per statistics collected by the Chinese Statistical Bureau, there had been 6000 cases of accidental strangulation and 35,000 cases of pre-meditated strangulation in China where a tie was involved.

Friendly neighbors without ties

Friendly neighbors without ties

In keeping with his serious demeanor, Prime Minister Singh declined to make the obligatory joke about how much better off the Chinese would be if they switched to Indian ties, but recounted the enormous problems he had when he first went to Oxford and was told that ties were compulsory in the classroom. Since his scholarship did not include a tie allowance, he was constrained to cut up a spare turban into many pieces and fashion ties out of them.

Indian Prime Minister was of the considered opinion that the constrictive pressure of ties on the neck was responsible for various phenomena ranging from the stiff upper lip in the case of the British to the nasal twang that characterized American speech. PM Wen interrupted the Indian Prime Minister at this point in his discourse and requested the Indian Prime Minister to write a paper on this seminal subject and he would personally make sure that it would be discussed at the next People’s Party Congress in Beijing.

The meeting concluded with both Premiers agreeing that efforts should be made to eradicate ties from Asia. As a first step it was decided that all the leaders that had gathered together would boycott ties and would only wear peacock green tops with trousers for the duration of the summit, as seen in the picture here.

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