NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. Rahul Roshan, an avid blogger, facebooker, orkuteer and twitterer, spent the whole evening of Diwali in front of his laptop when everyone around was partying and making merry. Rahul wrote two blog posts, sent out thirty seven emails, frequently updated his facebook and twitter statuses and replied to fellow losers’ statuses as he refused to come out on the terrace to join his flatmates for the cracker bursting ceremony.

“What a fucktard flatmate we have got. We had bought three flower pots for him as he had said he didn’t like rockets or bombs. We had apportioned even one packet of sparklers for him, but the loser kept confided in his dingy room riveted on his laptop screen. The only time he seemed to be a part of the festivities was when he sent Happy Diwali SMS to us in the morning. It’s a different matter that he could have said the same verbally.” Saurabh, a flatmate of Rahul said.

Rahul surfing internet on the Diwali evening

Rahul surfing internet on the Diwali evening

Rahul, a sales executive with an MNC, lives with three flatmates in Mayur Vihar in a DDA flat. His relationship with his flatmates was quite good till today when Rahul showed almost no enthusiasm for Diwali. Saurabh almost wanted to hit Rahul with bathroom slippers when Rahul didn’t even come out to greet their neighbors who had come to wish Happy Diwali to them.

“I don’t know what the fuck he was doing on the laptop. Pervert must be watching some porn site.” Saurabh wondered.

An analysis of blog posts, orkut discussion forums posts, status messages of facebook and tweets by Rahul reveals that Rahul had been expressing concerns about noise pollution, air pollution, waste of public money, meaninglessness of festivals and threats of contaminated sweets on Diwali. It’s not so that Rahul didn’t enjoy the festival of Diwali as he also wished and returned wishes for Happy Diwali to fellow netizens. But whatever he did was in the cyber world.

“I like socializing, in fact I’m a networking addict. People have forgotten to communicate and interact with each other, but internet is such an important tool. It brings us closer to each other and we can share so many moments of joy, concern and activism. It’s so much fun to be a part of all this.” Rahul explained his thoughts by replying to us through email, while his friends kept calling him on the terrace to be part of the proceedings.

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  • loltard

    What about those loltards who spent the evening smoking pot instead?

    • Rahul

      I think smoking pot is very similar to burning (flower) pot so you actually celebrated Diwali better than the loser ;)

  • Rohit

    Seems like a true story.

  • Karandeep Malik

    Please dont read this , this is for Rahul . Hey Rahul I have heard there are some fresh videos loaded on youngporn……com , you know what I mean, right !!

  • sawrub

    Hey I live in Mayur Vihar too. Maybe I can go to the DDA flats and kick his laptop/ass and take off before he can react.

  • http://www.amol-patil.com Amol Patil

    Am I seeing pagal patrakar’s back in that pic :P

    • http://susenj.wordpress.com neeraj

      Well..you are right! there he is :D

  • Digvijay

    You are not a loser, PP!
    Great work!