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New Delhi. The three wise monkeys of Gandhiji, who had come on a visit to the national capital, were scared away by a burly langoor near the Parliament today. The langoor, named Payal, was employed by the security officials to save fearful Members of Parliament from stalking Rhesus monkeys during parliamentary sessions, but it seems that Payal couldn’t recognize the guests from Sabarmati Ashram and scared them away.

“She is innocent. I tried to teach her a lot of stuff but teaching her about the three monkeys never came to my mind. It didn’t appear relevant at all in case of our parliament. I apologize on behalf of Payal and hope the government doesn’t lay her off. She has nine little baby langoors and four of my school going children to feed.” Ramlaal, the trainer of Payal said.

Ramlaal’s fears are not unfounded as the government has indeed took the matter seriously and has castigated Ramlaal and Payal for having insulted the three wise monkeys on Gandhiji’s birthday. Minister of Culture Ambika Soni later invited the monkeys for a special dinner with the union cabinet where they would also have been felicitated, but the monkeys refused the invitation.

“We don’t need this, and we didn’t find it insulting. Payal was just doing her job. But we found it really funny that the modern leaders have employed one kind of monkey to scare away another kind of monkey. Bapu had once told us that Britishers used to do the same with Indians; they always recruited local Indians in their police force and army.” the hear-no-evil wise monkey said.

The three monkeys of Bapu in Gandhi Ashram

The three monkeys of Bapu in Gandhi Ashram

While the three wise monkeys survived the scare of a langoor, they had a really harrowing time when they were abducted by a jobless MBA. The incident happened near Teen Murti Bhavan where the culprit, 26-year-old Tushar, was hiding after shoplifting some fake Mont Blanc T-shirts from Janpath. Tushar apparently had plans to auction the wise monkeys and make some quick money.

“I had lost my job last year and have not got another one since then. I’ve been trying to think of ideas to make money and recently discovered that items associated with Gandhiji have been fetching real good prices in the international market. I couldn’t resist the temptation when I saw the monkeys. I had read about them in my school text-books.” Tushar admitted.

Tushar has been arrested on charges of kidnapping. A case of theft could also be registered against him, but not for shoplifting T-shirts, as officials suspect him to be the thief who stole a rare gold watch from Lal Bahadur Shastri Memorial last month. Officials were confident that Tushar couldn’t have stolen anything from Teen Murti Bhavan as the security arrangement is much tighter at such places in comparison to places like Lal Bahadur Shastri Memorial or Raj Ghat. Incidentally both Mahatma Gandhi and Lal Bahadur Shastri share the same birthday.

The three wise monkeys have been recovered from Tushar and they have expressed desire to go back to Sabarmati Ashram in Gujarat as soon as possible. The wise monkeys have also refused government offer to provide them with Z-class security. They thought it would be bizarre to see humans protecting the monkeys as they had earlier seen a langoor protecting humans.

“This has been really bizarre trip and pretty unexpected. Apart from what happened to us, we saw really strange things on the roads. One guy was all sloshed up and lying on the footpath almost unconscious and people were moving around as if some stone was lying there. We were told that it’s a dry day on Bapu’s birthday then how come he was drunk? Forget that, why were people ignoring him?” the see-no-evil wise monkey wondered.

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