NEWSWIRE

California, USA. In wake of waves of terrorist attacks in Pakistan, Afghanistan and now Iran, Google Inc., the leading company in the virtual world, has decided to shelve the development of Google Wave, and instead announced its intentions to launch various applications for terrorist groups. These applications range from search engines to find possible terror targets to a social networking website exclusively for terrorists. The move is seen to exploit the trend of growing numbers of terrorists, especially tech savvy terrorists, around the world.

“Terrorism is here to stay. We might run out of doctors and pastors, but we would always find terrorists around. It has a global appeal and almost every community aspires to have their own terrorists. It’s a growing market, unless aliens or communists get back to earth.” Google co-founder Larry Page told Faking News.

People around the world, especially software developers, were shocked by Google’s decision as they thought that the company would go full throttle over the development of Google Wave, which is being touted as the next big thing in the online world. There was no clarity if the special invites sent out to various people to test and develop Google Wave will be revoked. But various terrorists around the world received special invites to test and develop the new applications.

An artist’s impression of Google BlownUp

An artist’s impression of Google BlownUp

One of the applications to be released has been named as “Google BlownUp”. The application, currently in the pre-Alpha stage, allows a terrorist to draw 3-D models of target buildings and find the right places and strategy to blow them up. The application simulates the actual impact of explosives used and returns the estimated number of casualties. Terrorists are quite excited over the prospects.

“This is a wonderful step by Google. We were planning to blow up their servers but we might spare them for this noble deed. Thanks to them, we would be able to carry on our operations much more effectively once these applications are launched. I just can’t wait till they release the Beta version.” Tehreek-e-Taliban chief Hakimullah Mehsud shared his excitement with us through an email, where he also attached an edited Wikimapia image showing shrunk international borders of India.

Realizing that India could be one of the most lucrative markets for its new applications, Google has reportedly added some India specific features in its applications such as quick links to Human Rights groups and RSS feeds for getting latest information on breaking news by various news channels. The applications could well be open-source, as was originally planned for Google Wave, which would allow terrorists to develop custom made add-ons to their benefit.

Currently Google is expecting to earn revenue through advertising, which traditionally has been their major source of revenue. Our sources confirm that many USA based companies dealing in arms and defense technologies, including the government owned ones, have already pledged millions of dollars of advertisement to Google for these terrorist applications.

Sources further inform that later Google could introduce higher levels of services and make them available on paid basis in future. Such services could include search for potential recruits among non-terrorist user base and access to various security agencies’ database. Terrorists would also be able to search for and network with political advocates and religious leaders through the planned terror-networking site, which could be called Vishphut.

Governments and security agencies around the world are currently tight lipped about the development and are refusing to comment.

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  • dhartikadushman

    Inshallah, Jai shri Ram and hey God !

    Thanku gugle for making our lives more techy and offcourse simplier (afterall simplicity is your motto) ! Being a commander in chief of a very important group (name hidden but search for “Osamama+bushh” in google and you will get it if “you are lucky”), I would like to place an order for a guide like “suicide bombing for Dummies” and a “suicide bomb simulator” compatible with some hardwares that gives the real time experience. I am not imposing much on you but you may do it fast before one of your servers catches fire “accidentally” due to a cigarette smoke. wish u luck .
    -peace OUT-

    • http://gugu.com teradost

      Kitni quantity main chahiye re baba wo toh bataya hi nahin….aise kaise chalega dhanda…

      • sabkadost

        Dhanda chalta hai bharose pe, quantity baar baar kya bataana, pichli baar jitna tha utna hee

  • Happy

    Hmmm…..

  • doctor wave

    your prediction was right :(