NEWSWIRE

Dear Sir,

I quite like your website and enjoy reading the news articles, but I don’t know why do you call it ‘faking’ news. I mean, sometimes I feel that these are real news report! No, not because I have an IQ level of a toilet cleaner, but because these days I’ve been reading news in newspapers that sound similar to what I get to read on Faking News.

Anyone happy to help me?

Anyone happy to help me?

For example the other day I read this news in this paper called Mid-Day, which informed me about a case that was related to rape of a dog! The report claimed that this case would be a ‘historic’ one for India, as for the first time a crime against an animal is being treated at par with a crime against humans. This is such a nonsense I tell you.

First of all, we all know that humans are treated at par with animals in India. Earlier it used to be shocking but now we have accepted it as a part of our culture. Even in the recently popular Bollywood movie called Kaminey, the human actor Shahid Kapoor was shown to be at par with horses. Now if humans are at par with animals in India, by corollary does it not mean that animals are treated on par with humans? So what shit was that news report talking about?

Furthermore the same report reads, “There was a similar case registered against a man in Delhi for raping a buffalo”. Now even if we assume that the buffalo-rape case didn’t go to courts, doesn’t it mean that the case is not ‘historic’ and our history is full of such great acts? Historic my foot!

The nonsense doesn’t stop there; the report claimed that Section 377 of the IPC would be used for the first time in a case that would not involve homosexuals. This is another trash of an information and assumption. I’m pretty sure that it was some fagging faggot who fucked the poor dog. Man, I tell you, our courts have gone mad to exonerate these faggots from Section 377; the poor dog is the first victim, tomorrow it could be you or your cat. God save our country.

You might think that I’m an anti-gay old-fashioned criminal, but I’m least apologetic about it. These guys annoy me no end. Even in this dog-rape case, a gay activist is voicing his opinion, saying, “It’s simply wrong because of the issue of consent. Animals can’t give consent to what people do to them.” What the fuck man, is that even a logic? That’s a gay logic I guess.

I mean, come on. Can we really logically conclude that animals give us consent to all other things that we do to them? A monkey is happy being chained and made to dance in front of ugly looking losers? Is that a consensual chaining and dancing? A donkey is happy carrying loads of useless stuff on his back? Is that a consensual labor or a bonded labor? A cow is happy being milked? What proves that it is a consensual milking? The worst is done to the male-cow i.e. the bull. We castrate him and call him ox. Is that a consensual castration? To add to his miseries, we make him plow our fields all day long. Forget consensual, is that even human? Consent my foot!

Sir, I must congratulate you that at least your news reports don’t make me go mad like these supposedly ‘real’ news reports. I hope you’d publish my letter and make me reach out to like minded people. Thanks and keep up the good work.

Busthin Ram
Bandra, Mumbai.

(if you want to voice your opinion on anything that is itching you, write to us at letters@fakingnews.com and get your opinion counted)

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  • horatius

    Busthin Ram,

    Let go of the hate, and maybe you’ll like the taste of dick in your mouth, which you clearly do from this post above.